the Life and Times of Warrior Woman

blonde recluse. nihilarian pronk.

Posts Tagged ‘verses

verse of the moment — psalm 9.

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17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

18 For the needy shall not always be forgotten: the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever.

I am unsure about other denominations, but in Orthodoxy the Book of Psalms is sometimes used as a prayer book.  For instance, Psalm 9, from which the above two verses are taken, can be used as a prayer of protection against demons that bother one during the day or during the night.  With nightmares, for example.

It really helps.  Try it, if you’re plagued by nightmares during night-time, or tormenting thoughts during the day.  I’ve been reading it before bed every night for quite a while, but stopped for the week when mother was in hospital.  I think I am going to resume reading this (and, with hope, other prayers) before bed every night.

Written by Alexandra

19 July 2012 at 8:59 pm

admitting to inadequacy.

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(click on image for source)

Lately I feel the need to read Proverbs.  I am ashamed to say that I’ve only ever read the first chapter, and chapter thirty-one — who hasn’t?

My circumstances are a bit complicated right now, so I haven’t had the chance to truly concentrate on reading — which is why I’m forever stuck on ch. 1.  But ch. 31 keeps me thinking lately.

I wonder, is it okay to feel inadequate after reading it?  Do you ladies out there ever feel inadequate?  Because what I feel is an odd feeling of inspiration, mixed with shame.  I’m not very good at keeping our flat in order.  Right now I have a legitimate excuse, as most of my time I spend with my mother at hospital.  But what about those days when mother and I were both at home?  Was our dwellings more orderly then, or am I just fooling myself?  Can I use the need to care for someone as some sort of an excuse for a disordered home?  Dirty floors and a pile of dishes?  Two baskets of dirty laundry, and about as much of things that need to be ironed?

But what about this:

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

Pride is probably my biggest sin, oddly combined with sloth, which leads to a lot of self-flagellation, but very little progress and development.  I’d like to say that I am getting better at keeping these two sins o’ mine in check, but that would be adding a third one — lying.

If you asked me a year ago whether I wanted to become a good housekeeper, I’d probably laugh in your face for a while.  Sure, I’d like to be a better cook (a great cook, my cooking is, with God’s help, okay), and it’s nice to entertain.  But all this laundry, floors, mending..?  Nah, thanks.

These days, as far as personal goals go, becoming a good (a decent) housekeeper is somewhere close to the very top of the list.  And I’m drastically failing at this.  Can’t even remember to water flowers!

So I guess we shall postpone the discussion of buying fields and raising grapes for a bit…  At least until I get the laundry under control.

I do have an excuse for laundry, though, — the water’s been out for three days!

Written by Alexandra

17 July 2012 at 9:37 pm

verse of the moment.

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For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. — 1 Cor 13:12

This has always been one of my favourite verses, even though I don’t fully understand its meaning.  Whenever I see these two photographs (and all the other photographs that I’ve taken of rainy/ icy windows), I always recall it.

Written by Alexandra

11 July 2012 at 7:33 pm

verses of the moment.

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O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen doth gather her brood under her wings, and ye would not! — Luke 13:34

How often would I deny God, and how often would I consider myself knowing better.  It is still hard to write about all the idiocy that I committed, and all the things that I believed in simply because I was too proud and blind to accept God into my life.

I still struggle with this.

[..] Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. — Mark 9:24

Written by Alexandra

7 July 2012 at 11:51 am

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i don’t really like mark twain.

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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
— Mark Twain

.

I watched the Santa in the Slush yesterday; bit of an ill-timed occurrence, since Autumn barely began today. That’s what you have to deal with when you watch a dub of a two year old season.

I am now a huge fan of mistletoes.

But this is not about timing and plants and fanaticism.

I am now going to sing Christmas songs until March. Because, you know, I love Christmas music. I love Christmas. And as I was writing in my journal earlier, I realised something.

I grew up in a secular environment. The first time I went to church was in 8th grade, and it was on a school touristy type of trip. My interactions with religion up to that point were rare, and unfortunately they weren’t positive. There’s no point in getting into the whole shabang, though.

I have a friend who had once referred to her family as secular Catholic. I liked the term, because I could very much apply it to my situation: I grew up in a family who was secular Orthodox. I mean, we celebrated Easter, and we celebrated Christmas, and other holidays, and we would fast. But I guess there was no real ground beneath that. Even though there was Christmas, there was still New Year’s Day, which was a bigger celebration. That would be the time to set up the table etc. And usually, when discussing plans or thinking of gifts, I’d think of New Year, or the ambiguous Winter Holidays.

And today, when I wrote in my journal, I wrote "for Christmas". And when I was talking to my Mother, I said, "I love Christmas." And I’m sitting here, thinking of Christmas, singing Christmas carols quietly.

Yay.

I’m still going to celebrate the whole shabang for about a month, though. I’ve got friends who celebrate Hanuka, I myself really fancy Yule, and in Russia the whole holiday thing starts on 24th of December, and lasts till 15th of January — that’s what you’ve got with having two calendars and the everlasting people’s (nation’s) memory.

But yay. Christmas. I feel all snuggly.

Still sick though.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
— Hebrews 11:1

Written by Alexandra

23 September 2009 at 2:37 pm